thiswallinside | 13th arrest | voice | i'm breaking down and you're breathing slowly

So, having curse sex with Castle hasn't really changed much. I mean granted, it was only a few days ago, and I've been holed up with paperwork trying to figure out what kind of funds we can pull together to build a new prison. Plus I haven't been laid in way too long.

But when they show it in the movies, people having sex on a desk? It looks a lot sexier than in reality. I have this kink in my back that's not going to be coming out without some real work on it.

And I was actually surprised, because Castle apparently isn't all bluster. He's definitely a manslut though, with how he knows his way around a woman--oh my God. Shut up, Beckett. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

[fumbling. with. device.]

Filter, please come on, if Alexis sees this-- shit! It was bound to happen, and everyone kind of knew that, it's just I didn't want to admit it-- stupid curses!

[still more fumbling.]

At least there was protection, right? [hands clamped over mouth, but audible if you listen:] And the handcuffs were readily available, which is such a cheesy cop stereotype but hey I was just using what I had available to me...

[/end voice]

[ooc; Cursed with My Dirty Little Secret, to reveal her roll in the hay with Castle during Jet Fighters and Punches!]

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[Ray's been avoiding the network in general, especially police members, but this is too good to miss. Even if it does blow his flu cover. And he can't quite manage to press anything but video with his clumsy paws.

So have a filthy chuckle, Beckett, along with an empty screen. He's avoiding appearing on the camera still.]

Nice one, Ma'am. There any of this CCTV stuff of it?

[Oh good, just the person to make this impossibly more awkward! Beckett practically chokes on her own tongue when she gets the notification.]

No, but I have a really good memory. And it'll probably end up in Castle's book. Except that one part...

Oh, aye. That the bit where you get all your paperwork stuck to your arse an' 'ave t'do it all again?

It was a stapler, thanks, and no. The one that makes those yoga classes worth the bill, actually. Also worth it to see Castle's reaction. [Headdesk. So hard.]

...You got a stapler stuck to your arse?

[Which is probably not the bit he should be focussing on, but hey, he's a 12 year old at heart.]

Dug into my back, actually.

[She is very okay with this distraction.]

Oh, that's borin', that is.

Go on, then. Let's be 'earin' what's made these yoga classes of yours so worthwhile.

Yeah, it hurt too, thanks for your concern.

Oh, well that's just basic anatomy. After all that stretching, it's easy to get your leg over your head.

Well, so long as you didn't stable it to your spine, or sommat.

[Yes, Kate. That would be a raunchy and obnoxious laugh you're hearing right now. This is the best thing Ray's heard all weekend.] Now that I would like to see.

No stapling, just the knot.

[If an eyeroll could make a noise...] I'm sure you would, Carling. Someday I just might show you, if you keep it up. [Yes. That would be a threat, not that it sounds all that harsh just now.]

There you are, then. Nothin' to complain about, so long as he weren't a crap shag.

Eh, you never know, Ma'am. Some day you might jus' fancy showin' me.

It wasn't crap, it was surprisingly good. All of the times.

That'll be the day. [Really, Beckett, tempt fate some more.]

All of the times? Blimey. Sounds like you 'ad quite the day.

Well, you wouldn't be the first bird who's decided she wanted t'see the extent of my prowess.

Well, I...hadn't slept with anyone for awhile. And he smelled really good, I don't know, like a pheromone thing.

Really? Wow, I'm surprised. What was the other girl's name, again?

Yeah, seemed like loads of folk got 'it with that one. Should've guessed I'd miss out on the one good one that comes along. [Is that jealousy you hear? It just might be.]

'Ey. I'll 'ave you know I've 'ad loads of birds. Couldn't get enough of me, most of 'em.

[At least the stroke of midnight saves her from having to talk about it anymore.] Yeah, one of those massive widespread effects.

Oh yeah, sure. You're a real love machine.

[Unfortunately for Ray that same stroke of midnight means he's suddenly a whole lot more human again. This is where it's probably just as well for Beckett he's avoided being in view the camera, though she may hear some sudden swearing.] Yeah, widespread effects with bloody sudden endings. S'pose you're gonna shut right up about your little rough an' tumble now, then?

Like you'd know.

[Beckett's going to blink in confusion for a bit. And as predicted, change the subject.] What was all that about?

Please. Like I'd wanna know.

Nothin'. Jus' give me a moment, will you? [About five minutes later the camera's actually picked up to reveal a sloppily dressed Ray puffing on a cigarette like it's his oxygen supply. It has been two days.]

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Never 'ear of that, Ma'am?

Didn't sound like nothing. [Beckett is so confused, Ray.] Okay, c'mon. You so do not have the flu.

Is that your most successful pick up line? Because I'm not surprised.

What? Yeah, I do. S'jus' a bit better now. [Ray glowers at her and throws in a sniffle for good measure.]

Nah. 'Course not. You jus' tell a bird you're a soldier, grab 'er arse an' she'll be all over you. 'Less she's a sensitive type.

Homocide detective, here, Ray. If it's a curse, just let me know. You aren't going to get fired over some crap the deities are pulling.

I had no idea that was how it worked. This is a whole new world opening up to me.

[He puffs on his cigarette moodily, contemplating that.] Yeah, so? 'Ow's it any business of yours whether I'm cursed or not, eh?

[Shrugs.] Works well enough for me.

13th arrest | voice | i'm breaking down and you're breathing slowly

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[video] you know you play Ray too much when you read 'keep it up' in completely the wrong context...

[video] well i will admit it may have been worded that way purposely

[video] oh, good. it's reassuring to know I'm not just turning intoa total perv.

[video] oh no, and if you are i'm along for the ride!

[video] so along for it!

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