thiswallinside | 28th arrest (video); if a building falls you wouldn't care to notice unless you were in it

I'm fine. If anyone's wondering, I'm most wanted for my brain, apparently. Again, fine. No need to ask, see? Working from home, you can calm down.

filtered to the named below |
Winchester, Hidaka, Pendleton. We need to talk.

police filter | unhackable
We've got some new additions I wasn't able to get to before that fun disappearing act I did and the curse. Please welcome Sam Tyler to Intel and Raiden and Aya Fujimiya, correct me if I just butchered your name, to Special Assault. You boys should be all set with IDs, weapons and probation clearances. If anything's not in order, let me ~~or Mr. Pendleton~~ know, and it'll be taken care of.

Anything to report? Get it in now, before I'm back in the office and making you all hate me. There a reason I'm seeing Winchester, Pendleton and Hidaka's names all over everything? I'm going to assume that everyone else is bogged down with cases of their own, for your sakes.

filtered to castle |
Thanks for staying with me at the hospital. But if I don't get back in the office by the weekend, I might shoot someone.

off network | private

A week. A week of being fairly certain I was going to die for some crazy monster's science project. And the only reason I'm able to record this is because he let me go. I was allowed to keep my life.

Things need to change. Crying over all of this isn't going to help anything, we just have to start being better. Preparation, maybe. I'll have to ask Justin what he thinks about an auxiliary unit, on top of what we have. Maybe volunteers for a response team to the super human or sub human or whatever it's called these days.

At least my absence didn't put too big a hiccup in the force. They seemed to handle everything okay, from what I can gauge on the Network. I'm a little concerned for Justin, though. He's just a kid and he's obviously got extra baggage in his past but still. I'm not sure a counselor would even help him with this. Winchester and Hidaka, yeah, they can handle gruesome field work. I'm not even sure why he was there on his day off.

Need to take a bath. The bastard ruined a week for me, I'm not letting him ruin my me-time. Then I'm back in the office later today if I can. If Castle stops mothering me.

[ooc: Omg I am so sorry for her bitchiness. She's...yeah. Stressed?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It can't hurt. At least I don't think it could...

Then... sure, why not?

Yeah. I-- would you mind if I ask Alexis if she would be interested as well?

I suppose so. How is she doing, by the way?

She puts on a brave face, but I can't tell how much is fake and how much is her getting better.

I see. We all do. To be honest the only time I don't think about it is when I'm with Ken.

Yeah, I'd say it's normal. I'd rather see that than nothing at all, at least.

How are Ken and you? He's a good cop, a good guy.

Edited 2010-10-11 15:53 (UTC)

We're good. It sounds a little strange to say, but for the first time since I've been here I'm... happy.

Weird or not, it's good. You should roll with it.

I think I am. How are you and Rick doing?

I'm-- it's. It's complicated.

How so? I don't mean to pry, but you're both my friends.

Rick's amazing, he's a great guy. But things at home are-- they're a lot different than how we are here.

Ah, I see. You think this is something that will only exist here?

Yeah. He has a hard time understanding my worry about us, even here. He just...won't take no for an answer, now that he's been let in a little. I'm not-- I can't lose someone else.

This place? It's hard to believe anything here. Sometimes I wake up... and I wonder if I'm really back home, and this is just a... bad drug interaction I'm having.

Exactly. And at times I feel guilty for the moments that make me feel like I don't want to wake up at all.

I... I just try to live in today.

Yeah. That makes sense.

I have nothing else to go home to, so it's all I have.

You don't?

My life is about death. I go where I'm ordered, I have a job that makes me... well, crazy's the easiest term. I escape in drugs and alcohol and generally wait for the task that will see me dead or in an institution for the mentally deranged.

...I didn't know things could be different until I came here.

Oh. Right, I...guess you understand more than I fathomed.

I try not to think about home.

Does it ever get easier? And don't lie if it doesn't.

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